Our elementary school starts each day at the morning
assembly with a motivational quote by someone notable, read to the whole school
by one of the students. I enjoy the tradition, but I think a few of the quotes might
be a little lofty in their goals.
Now, I realize that this is the greatest country in the
world, and as such, our educational system needs to prepare the leaders of
tomorrow, but when I hear my three boys being regaled with quotes about
changing the world, I often can’t shake the thought that fifteen minutes
earlier I was yelling at them to get out the door and they were ignoring me and
rolling around on the living room carpet trying to fart on each other.
I’m just saying, some of the quotes might be shooting a
little high, that’s all.
I believe I have found a more realistic goal for America’s
youth. I saw a guy jogging the other day, and he was wearing a T-shirt with two
words written on the back. It said, “DON’T SUCK,” and I immediately adopted his
shirt slogan as my new mantra.
I think in a way, DON’T SUCK has always been my unofficial
motto. When I sit back and reflect on it, it’s what I’m really trying to do
with my life. I may strive for success or even greatness in this little area or
that little endeavor, but striving for greatness is tiring. Most days I just
don’t have the energy for it, and I have certainly never had the energy or the
internal fire to strive for greatness on a large scale. Most days I’m just
trying not to suck. Yes indeed, DON’T SUCK guides my life.
DON’T SUCK guides our parenting philosophy as well, both in
how we try to conduct ourselves as parents, and what we try to impart to our
children. We’re certainly not awesome
as parents, but every day we get out of bed and at least try not to suck at it.
Some days are better than others; some days we’re the "nutritionally balanced and
healthy three-course dinner that everyone thinks is delicious" parents, knocking
it out of the park, and other days we’re the “at least we had milk for the
dinner cereal” parents, just barely managing not to suck. Call us for free
advice!
We have told our children time and time again they can be
whatever they want to be. They’re not blowing my hair back just yet, but that’s
OK. So far, it seems the first one wants to be an inventor who’s not required
to move a lot. Or a paleontologist who is also allowed to sit for extended
periods of time. The second one is uncertain, but wants to make sure that no
matter what he chooses, everyone else around him will do everything his way. I’m
thinking something in government - maybe a dictator. The third one has given us
absolutely no clear idea of a career destination other than wanting to scream
out everything he says at ninety decibels. Maybe a punk band’s lead singer?
Time will tell.
No matter what direction they take, my advice to them will
remain the same. Just don’t suck. You don’t have to be the best at everything.
You don’t even have to be the best at anything. Like Judge Smails so wisely
told Danny Noonan in Caddyshack, the world
needs ditch diggers too. If you have that internal drive to be great at
something, then great. It’s great to be great. Work hard and go get it! But in
everything you do - whether it’s something you want to do, like to do, need to
do, or have to do – the baseline remains the same: DON’T SUCK.
I’m thinking of writing a parenting book.
In an effort to be helpful (in other words, to not suck), I
suggested my new motto as an obvious addition to the elementary school morning
quote pool. I even pointed out that many of the current quotes are so long the
kids have to bring the paper up with them to read them off. DON’T SUCK could be
easily memorized by your average elementary schooler in just a few short days.
Seems like a no-brainer to me, but the principal hasn’t
gotten back to me yet. I can’t figure out why.
See you soon,
-Smidge
Copyright © 2016 Marc Schmatjen
Number three told me he wanted to become "a writer like dad". Pretty silent path, no? Maybe he'll write with only uppercases.
ReplyDeleteHa! I can see him now, sitting in his office all alone, yelling at the computer screen as he types away.
ReplyDeleteSmidge, you obviously "don't suck" as a writer if your number three aspires to be a "writer like dad." Congratulations! I'm a speechwriter, and all I get from my tres "ninos"--a term now consistent with the infamous weather phenomena--are eye rolls and sighs as I tell them to write in active voice or take it easy on the gerunds and unnecessary adverbs. Go figure! Instead of "Don't Suck," perhaps I'll just settle for "Suck Less." Have a great weekend!
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't get too congratulatory - Last week he wanted to be a rodeo clown...
ReplyDeleteCheers!