There have been a lot of times in advertising and
communications when I thought it might have been better to have a professional
in charge. Or maybe even a third-grader.
These are a few of those times:
I heard a radio ad looking for volunteers for a weight loss
study to test a “revolutionary new pill.” They said, To participate in this study, you must lose at least ten pounds.
Hmm… Not going to be much of a "study," I guess.
Lipitor commercial: Claims
about Lipitor are backed up by over 450 ongoing or completed studies.
Umm… How can you back up a claim with an ongoing study?
I was exiting a Chevron bathroom with the door offering the
new "touch-free handle." The picture showed someone putting their arm
through it and opening it with their shirt sleeve.
That’s great news for all you germaphobes out there, but I
have a question. Can we really still call this giant thing a “handle?”
Saw a sign on freeway runaway truck ramp – the ramp designed
to stop an out-of-control big rig. The sign said, "No stopping
anytime."
Uh, doesn't that sort of miss the point of the ramp?
I was in the McDonald’s drive thru ordering an Egg McMuffin
and the lady on the speaker said, “That's with Canadian bacon, right?” My first
thought was, do you guys not know how to make it?
I saw an official US Army bumper sticker in Spanish. It said,
Yo soy el army.
Umm... Que? One of my main hopes for the army of my country
is that everyone who has a gun understands what the guy in charge is saying.
I saw a license plate bracket that said “VFW Life Member.”
Isn't that kinda automatic?
Heard an ad for a pharmacy that apparently specialized in
pet medicine. Does your pet run and hide
when it's time to take their medication? We can turn your pet’s medication into
a cream that you can rub on their ears.
If I'm giving them their meds by rubbing it on their ears, doesn’t
that mean I’m taking their medication, too? That can't be a good idea, can it?
I heard a radio ad for some place called JustGuns.com, advertising
high-end shotguns. Whether it’s
waterfowl, upland game, clay pigeons, turkey defense, or tactical…
The words “turkey” and “defense” were said far too close
together, so it sounded like the JustGuns.com clientele were constantly needing
to defend themselves against attacking turkeys. I am assuming that is not the
case, but I can’t be sure where these people live.
On a Folsom Lake Dodge-Chrysler-Jeep ad, in the monster
truck radio voice – Giant Inventory! If
we don’t have it, it’s not in stock!
Uh… yes. That is exactly what that means.
Heard on a radio ad for RingCentral.com, which billed
themselves as an offsite phone system service for small businesses to have
professional voicemail, etc.
Set it up online at
ringcentral.com, or call 1-800-ring-one. If our agents are busy, please call
again later.
What??
Mac’s Plumbing radio ad - This month’s special… We’ll unclog any drain for $99 or it’s free.
Question 1 - Why would I pay if you can’t unclog it in the
first place?
Question 2- Isn’t it normally “the same day or it’s free” or
something like that? I don’t understand “$99 or it’s free.” Can I bargain with
you? How about, $1 or it’s free? That way we wouldn’t have so much to figure
out.
Radio spot for The Mutual Fund Store - Do you change your own oil? Cut your own hair? Do your own teeth
cleaning? Of course not. Why would you do your own mutual fund planning…
I don’t think I’m their target audience, because I answered
“yes” to all three.
Seen on the wall at our local electrical utility: Accident
Prevention Awards.
How are these distributed? I mean, how do you really know
that you prevented an accident?
Ad for Mercy Orthopedics - If you
are experiencing joint pain or limited mobility…
I have been experiencing limited mobility my whole life, but
I don’t think it has to do with bad joints. I’m just slow.
Saw “INKNPPR” on a personalized license plate, with a
license plate bracket that said, “It says, Ink and Paper.”
If you have to explain your personalized license plate with
the bracket, I think you did it wrong.
On the local talk radio show, the news guy was teasing an upcoming
story. “Prepare to be shocked.”
Can you even do that?
Driving down in the rural California central valley I heard
an AM station weatherman refer to himself as “KMJ 580 meteorolist”
I wasn’t sure I heard him correctly the first time, but over
the next few hours I heard the meteorologist mispronounce his own profession at
least four or five times.
This last one is different, and probably falls under the
category of “unintentional marketing,” and I swear every word is true. We were early
to Son Number One’s teeth cleaning visit and hadn’t gone into the office yet.
Sitting in the car, facing the dental office, we watched one of the hygienists
arrive for work. She got out of her car and walked right in the front door
carrying an 18-volt DeWalt power drill with a twelve-inch-long drill bit.
Took me fifteen minutes to catch up to my son.
See you soon,
-Smidge
Copyright © 2019 Marc Schmatjen
Check out The Smidge
Page on Facebook. We like you, now like us back!
No comments:
Post a Comment